i've always said that my home is where i am... doesn't matter wut place it may be, doesn't matter how long the stay may be, as long as i'm living there i see it as 'home'... but i forgot one thing, apart from needing to be 'physically' there, the sense of 'belonging' is also very important... no matter how faint the sense may be, it's crucial to make me feel 'at home'... i felt a sense of belonging when i'm in edinburgh i felt a sense of belonging when i'm in london i felt a sense of belonging when i'm in macclesfield but i don't feel like i belong when i'm in hong kong... i used to feel that but i don't anymore... i only felt a sense of belonging to my family n that's it... don't mistake me, i still feel 100% chinese at heart, i still have that chinese pride, but i juz don't feel i 'belonged' to hong kong... it's hard to describe it's hard to explain maybe it's coz my family speaks mandarin maybe it's coz i spend most time in the uk maybe it's coz i don't feel like i fit in... not my size not my looks not my demeanor not my attitude none of those fit into the hong kong crowd i'm not sure if that's a good thing or not but i feel nostalgic when i see foreigners on the streets... heck, why should i?! i've only been back for a few days, nostalgia?! wut on earth?? maybe it's coz i don't feel like i can BE myself when i'm back in hong kong maybe it's coz i have this 'model' that i need to fit in this 'mode' that i need to switch myself to... where do i actually belong to? i don't know... i suppose i could be 'romantic' n say that i'm like science, belonging to every country, without a boundary... lol, how arrogant... | 